LISTENING

From Listening comes Wisdom.

This is the “other half” of good communication. Most of us don’t do this well. We are thinking about how we are going to respond and really don’t hear what the other person is saying…or understand what they mean. Multitasking doesn’t work here!

Here are ten ways to become a better listener:

1. Ask pertinent questions
2. Practice empathetic listening (participating in another’s feelings or ideas)
3. Listen with your entire body (appropriate body language)
4. Share personal stories
5. Paint a visual picture
6. Don’t interrupt
7. Pause before you reply
8. Eliminate distractions (don’t read email, answer phone or reply to messages)
9. Speak with a purpose
10. Don’t give unsolicited advice

Principles of Active/Empathetic Listening:

• Repeat – this shows you are paying attention
• Rephrase – think about the other person’s agenda
• Reflect – Respond to both the message and feelings (empathy)

Examples of Active Listening – Paraphrasing:

• “What I hear you saying is ___________. Is that right?”
• “In other words, you (think/feel) that _________________.”
• “It sounds as if you’re saying __________________.”
• “Let me make sure I’ve got this right. You ______________.”

Examples of Empathetic Listening – how you think the other person feels and why:

• “It sounds as if you feel _______ (feeling), because ________ (reason).”
• “I can understand how that _____ (reason) would make you _____ (feeling).